DO YOU HAVE TO GIVE UP OLAM HAZEH, TO GET TO OLAM
HABO?
or
THE WINSTON CIGARETTES SICHA
By RABBI SHLOMO PRICE
1) There was a Winston Cigarette commercial on T.V.
(before cigarette commercials were banned from TV) that went like this,
"Winston tastes good like a cigarette should". Naturally, the English
teachers were appalled by the incorrect usage of "like" which should be "as"
instead. Not to be outdone, the Winston advertisers, came up with an ad of a
worker putting up a big billboard saying the slogan with the word "like".
When a proper Englishman comes along and protests the incorrect grammar, the
ad does a jingle, "What do you want, good grammar or good taste?"
This taught me a very interesting point. The world wants
you to think that certain things are contradictory and you can't have them
both. In reality this is not the case.
In this case the ad wants you to believe that good
grammar will take away from the good taste, which is absolutely ridiculous.
In reference to Olam Hazeh and Olam Habo, (this world and the next world)
people also think that one must come at the expense of the other. In order
to get to the next world one must sacrifice and suffer in this world. The
person then faces the predicament, is it worth it or not, to give up the
temporary pleasures for eternal ones.
2) As we will see, this is not so. Not only don't you
have to give up This World, but amazingly, only those who strive for the
Next World can really enjoy This World.
Rav Eliyahu Lopian, Zal has a beautiful sicha in Lev
Elyahu (Breishis pg 112), entitled "L'hisaheg Al Hashem", which addresses
the issue.
3) He starts off analyzing an interesting conversation
between Ya'akov and Rochel and Leah (B'reishis 31:3-16). After twenty years
at Lavan's home, Hashem just told Ya'akov to return to his father's home.
Interestingly, when Ya'akov relates this to his wives he doesn't get
straight to the point. Instead, he gives a whole introduction describing how
the relationship between him and Lavan has corroded, and that he was fooled
many times by Lavan. Finally, he ends off saying that Hashem told him to
return home. Rochel and Leah also respond in a strange way. "Do we still
have any portion or inheritance in our father's home?.... And now, do
everything that Hashem tells you to". They were saying that they didn't
expect to get any capital gain in their father's house, so now we will
listen to everything that Hashem has instructed you to do.
This is quite puzzling. If Hashem has told Ya'akov to
leave, what is there to discuss? Even if one could find many reasons why he
should stay, doesn't Hashem obviously know better?
Consequently, why does Ya'akov bother to give a whole
introduction to explain why it is logical to leave? Wouldn't it suffice for
Ya'akov to relate that Hashem ordered him to leave, thus there is nothing
else to consider. The response of Rochel and Leah is harder to understand.
Did they mean to say that the only reason to leave, is the fact that their
father's home is no monetary asset to them? What if there was some money or
inheritance to be gained from their father, would that be a reason to
consider disobeying the word of Hashem? Maybe we could have such
considerations, but not such great people as the Avos and Emaohos.
4) The Lev Eliyahu asks a similar question regarding
Koheles. Shlomo Hamelech contiguously describes throughout Sefer Koheles,
how much he has experienced in this world and how worthless all the
pleasures of This World are. "Vanity of vanities, all is vanity" repeats
itself throughout the book. After this introduction he concludes (12:13),
"At the end of everything, when all is heard (the final verdict is) fear
Hashem and keep His Mitzvos, because this is all of Man."
Again we have the same puzzling question. Why does Shlomo
Hamelech need this whole introduction? Does he mean to say that the only
reason why we should fear Hashem and do mitzvos is because the world's
pleasures are worthless? What if the pleasures in the World were good, would
that be a reason not to do the mitzvos?
5) The answer is that Ya'akov, Rochel, Leah and Shlomo
Hamelech are all teaching us an important lesson, a foundation in Serving
Hashem.
A person should not think that serving Hashem and keeping
the Torah comes at the expense of the pleasures of this world consequently
facing the dilemma whether or not it is worth it. This is a totally mistaken
concept, and is not the path to serving Hashem.
A person is rather obligated to understand and realize
that if he does the Will of Hashem, he will have goodness and blessing in
This World and in Olam Habo. The main reward comes in the next world, while
the person eats the fruit in this world. In keeping the Torah there is no
'bad', only 'good' always in both This World and the Next.
This is the explanation for the conversation between
Ya'akov and Rochel and Leah. They are showing that obeying Hashem's command
is not coming at the expense of any physical gains. They saw clearly that it
was good to leave the house of Lavan because they were not expecting any
money from him.... (If they were expecting money from Lavan, then they would
have found a different way how to understand why they would not be
sacrificing anything.)
Shlomo Hamelech also is telling us that serving Hashem
doesn't involve any sacrifices because it all the pleasures of this world
are vanity. The greatest pleasure is getting away from the falsehood and
vanity of This World.
Living a life of Emunah (Belief in Hashem) and Bitachon
(trust in Hashem), living with the concepts of gam zu l'tovah
(everything Hashem does is for the best) and hashgacha protis (Hashem
is constantly guiding us), living a life where we control our middos and
desires, makes us the happiest people around.
The Tiferes Yisroel says in Avos (6:2), "The only true
freedom is the freedom of the soul. A person is not a free man, if his
desires are liberated and his soul is enslaved to his desires."
6) Furthermore, the Lev Eliyahu points out that only
those who serve Hashem really get to enjoy the pleasures in this world.
Those people who seek only the pleasures of This World (he calls them Olam
Hazehnikers) will not enjoy it. A person who is controlled by bad middos
such as desire and jealousy, cannot enjoy what he has. On the outside they
may pretend they are living a happy life but when you get to know them, you
see how depressed they really are.
My Rebbe told the following story in the name of Rav
Ya'akov Galinsky Shlit"a. A person comes to a psychiatrist and tells him
about all of his problems and how depressed he is. The psychiatrist tells
him that his case is a hard one, and they will need many sessions. Meanwhile
he suggests that the patient should go across the street and watch this real
funny comedian do his routine. This will help him get the problems off his
mind at least temporarily. The patient answered, "But Doctor, you don't
understand, I'm the comedian from across the street."
The Lev Eliyahu tells an interesting parable to
underscore this point.
Many townspeople including widows and orphans invested
their money with a very successful and trustworthy businessman. One day the
businessman's luck changed, and he started losing his money. When the people
in the town heard this they all ran to him to get their money back. Although
this person may still be living in his fancy house with wall to wall
carpeting and the best furniture money can buy he still cannot enjoy life or
even sleep well. With the creditors constantly badgering him for their money
and yelling and screaming at him he has no peace or quiet. His limousine is
useless since he is too embarrassed to even show his face on the street..
The truth is we also have creditors that don't let us
enjoy life. They are jealousy, desires, and honor. We may have something
nice or a good job, but if someone else has a bigger and better one we are
very jealous and can't enjoy what we have.
The Mishnah (Avos 4:21) says, "Rav Elazar Hakapar says
"Jealousy, desire and honor, remove a person from the world"." According to
many commentaries, "the world" refers to This World. A person with these
traits cannot enjoy life in this world.
7) How do we conquer them? "If you can't beat them, join
them", wouldn't work here. The Vilna Gaon compares it to someone who wishes
to quench his thirst by drinking salty sea water. At first he may think he
is quenching his thirst, but soon he will be thirstier then he was before.
The same is with desires, the more we give in to them the more we will want
them, and they will rule us.
The way to conquer them is to work on your middos and to
learn to love Hashem and fellow mankind. Once this happens our jealousy of
other will dissolve because we will only want what is best for them.
8) There is an interesting article in the Reader's Digest
"The Secret of True Happiness," by Dennis Prager that talks about happiness.
He says:
I live in the land of Disney, Hollywood and
year-round sun. You may think that people in such a glamorous fun-filled
place are happier than others. If so, you have some mistaken ideas about
the nature of happiness.
Many intelligent people will equate happiness with
fun. The truth is that fun and happiness have little or nothing in
common. Fun is what we experience during an act. Happiness is what we
experience after an act. It is a deeper more abiding emotion.
Going to an amusement park or a ballgame, watching a
movie or television, are fun activities that help us relax, temporarily
forget our problems, and maybe even laugh. But, they do not bring
happiness, because their positive effects end when the fun ends.
I have often thought that if Hollywood stars have a
role to play, it is to teach us that happiness has nothing to do with
fun. These rich, beautiful individuals have constant access to glamorous
parties, fancy cars, expensive homes, everything that spells
"happiness." But in memoir after memoir, celebrities reveal the
unhappiness hidden beneath all their fun: depression, alcoholism, drug
addiction, broken marriages, troubled children, profound loneliness.
Yet people continue to believe that the next, more
glamorous party, more expensive car, more luxurious vacation, fancier
home will do what all the other parties, cars, vacations, homes have not
been able to do. "The way people cling to the belief that a fun-filled,
pain-free life equals happiness, actually diminishes their chances of
ever attaining real happiness. If fun and pleasure are equated with
happiness, then pain must be equated with unhappiness. But, in fact, the
opposite is true: More times than not, things that lead to happiness
involve some pain.
As a result, many people avoid the very endeavors
that are the source of true happiness. They fear the pain inevitably
brought by such things as marriage, raising children, professional
achievement, religious commitment, civic or charitable work,
self-improvement.
Ask a bachelor why he resists marriage even though he
finds dating to be less and less satisfying. If he's honest, he will
tell you that he is afraid of making a commitment. For commitment is in
fact quite painful. The single life is filled with fun, adventure,
excitement. Marriage has such moments, but they are not its most
distinguishing feature.
Similarly, couples who choose not to have children
are deciding in favor of painless fun over painful happiness. They can
dine out whenever they want, travel wherever they want and sleep as late
as they want. Couples with infant children are lucky to get a whole
night's sleep or a three-day vacation. I don't know any parent who would
choose the word fun to describe raising children.
But couples who decide not to have children never
experience the pleasure of hugging them or tucking them into bed at
night. They never know the joys of watching a child grow up or of
playing with a grandchild.
Of course I enjoy doing fun things. I like to play
racquetball, joke with kids (and anybody else), and I probably have too
many hobbies.
But these forms of fun do not contribute in any real
way to my happiness. More difficult endeavors - writing, raising
children, creating a deep relationship with my wife, trying to do good
in the world - will bring me more happiness than can ever be found in
fun, that least permanent of things.
Understanding and accepting that true happiness has
nothing to do with fun is one of the most liberating realizations we can
ever come to. It liberates time: Now we can devote more hours to
activities that can genuinely increase our happiness. It liberates
money: Buying that new car or those fancy clothes that will do nothing
to increase our happiness now seems pointless. And it liberates us from
envy: We now understand that all those rich and glamorous people we were
so sure are happy because they are always having so much fun actually
may not be happy at all.
The moment we understand that fun does not bring
happiness, we begin to lead our lives differently. The effect can be,
quite literally, life-transforming.
9) We can learn this lesson of happiness and jealousy
from Haman Horosho. In Megilas Esther (5:13), he recounts all of his
greatness, richness, children, and even the fact that Queen Esther invited
only him to the party. Yet there is one thing that bothers him, namely that
Mordechai the Jew doesn't bow down to him. We would think that such a person
would be 99% happy and 1% not. Yet Haman says, "All of this is worth
nothing"! How ridiculous is this? The second most important person in the
kingdom cannot enjoy all the riches and pleasures he has, because there is
one Jew who refuses to bow down to him! (I heard a similar story from my
Rebbi. A neighbor saved up enough money over many years and was finally
ready to buy a new car. He ordered the best model out with all the extras.
The day came when the new car finally arrived and he was beaming with
happiness as he flipped through the manual. To his dismay he discovered that
the agent had forgotten to tell him about the option of getting climate
control. Instead of appreciating what he did have, he was so upset that he
said, "I get no stinking nachas (pleasure) from this damn car.")
10) The possuk (Tehilim 34:11) says; (we say it in
bentching) "Those that seek Hashem will not lack anything good". The Lev
Eliyahu quotes the following question from the "Shlah Hakadosh". "Don't we
see so many people who "seek Hashem", and yet they are lacking good".
The Lev Eliyahu explains the answer of the "Shlah
Hakadosh "with a parable. A person visited two friends in their homes. In
the bathroom of the first one he found a huge closet full of medicines. In
the second one he found only a small medicine chest. He approached the
second friend and complained, "Why didn't you tell me that you are so poor
and can't afford to buy the medicines? I am more than willing to help you
with the expenses. Look at our friend across the street; he is successful,
he has so many medicines." The friend upon hearing this starts to laugh and
says, "Don't you realize that he has so many medicines because everybody
there is sick, and is in need of all the medicines? My family B"H is well,
and we don't need so many medicines."
The same thing is with all worldly pleasures. You go into
the rich man's house and you sink into his thick carpet, and you see all the
fancy things that he has. Then you go into your Rebbi's house, and he barely
has anything there, and you feel bad for your Rebbi. Well, as we mentioned
before, the rich man has a big sickness - jealousy, desires, and honor. The
"Ba'alei Muussar" say that jealousy is the locomotive that makes the world
move; if they weren't jealous they wouldn't do anything. I also remember one
of the main principles of Economics is "to keep up with the Joneses".
Everybody can be happy, but once somebody on the block gets something nicer,
then they are all jealous. Even the commercials proclaim, "Be the envy of
the block, be the first one to get it." The rich man has this sickness of
jealousy... consequently he needs to get all these fancy things to cure
himself. Otherwise he can't be happy. (There is nothing wrong with being
rich, if Hashem gives it, use it gezunterheit, but to go crazy and to be
obsessed with money is a big sickness). However, your Rebbi doesn't have the
sickness, consequently he doesn't need the medicines, he is happy without
it.
This says the "Shlah Hakadosh" is the explanation of the
possuk. It doesn't say that those that seek Hashem will have everything
good. It says they won't lack it. There are two ways not to lack it, by
having it or by not needing it. David Hamelech is telling us, that those
that seek Hashem won't need all these things. They will be happy without
them.
Rav Moshe Feinstein Zal would say (quoted by Rabbi Zelig
Pliskin in Growth Through Torah on p. 19), "People destroy their children by
always repeating, 'Es iz shver tzu zein a Yid (it is hard to be a
Jew).' No, it is not hard to be a Jew. It is beautiful and joyous to be a
Jew." I like to add that the saying should be, "Es iz shver nit tzu zein
a Yid." - "It is hard not to be a Jew." A goy doesn't
live with the understanding that Hashem runs the world. He cannot relate to
all the things that we mentioned before and therefore has nothing to console
himself with when things go wrong. B'H we do.
11) An interesting personal story that took place in
1984, when my son Moshe Naftoli was born. My brother Mayer and his wife Suri
had come, and we all went on a tiyul to Tiverya. Joining us in the cab for
the long ride was a woman from Monsey who seemed to be well off. She was
telling us about the two fancy cars that she owned, if I remember correctly
they were a Jaguar and a Cadillac. Yet, later on when the subject turned to
locking the doors at night, she said, "I don't have to lock my door at
night." We thought it was because she lived in a safe area, but then she
said, "I'm not afraid of a thief, because I have nothing for him to steal.
If he comes, he will probably leave me a donation." I then turned around to
her and said, (I probably should not have said, but I guess I also have a
yetzer horo) "Where would he leave the donation, by the Jaguar or the
Cadillac." This again shows that people can have so much, and yet think that
they have nothing.
12) I'm going to end off with a beautiful story told by
Rav Nisim Yagen. He once visited a certain talmid of his who lived in
Lawrence, New York. Rav Yagen davened in the local shul and after the
davening was approached by a man who was an Orthodox Jew. Unfortunately,
this person's only son met a Christian girl while volunteering in a hospital
and she persuaded him that 'J' was the savior. He told Rav Yagen, "I davened
in the same minyan, and went to the same Daf Yomi shiur as your talmid's
father. My teffilin are the best, and everything was like your talmid's
father. My son and your talmid learned together in the same yeshivah".
"Why", he asked "did your talmid became a Rabbi, and my son became a
Catholic priest?" He was crying why he lost his child forever.
Rav Yagen answered, "I don't know you, but I will tell
you what I think.
"There are two ways how to serve Hashem.
Some parents complain when they wake up in the morning that they need
some more sleep. When they daven their son asks them why are you
davening, and the father says "because he has to". The son asks "Why do
you have to, did you have a bad dream"? The father says, "No, but G-d
(said so), that's why we have to". When Shabbos comes, the son asks "Why
do we keep Shabbos"? The same answer, "we have to". When you sit in the
cold Succah, the son asks, "Why can't we eat in the warm house" and
again the answer "Because we have to". This answer develops something in
your child's mind against the Torah. The son says, "Maybe my father has
to, but I don't." The minute he can, he throws it away.
Other parents, me included, (Rav Yagen) have an
entirely different approach. When I get up, I dance. My son asks why am
I dancing? I tell him Thank G-d I can pray and put on Tefillin. When my
son hears this he says, " Father, please buy me (tefillin) too; I also
want to pray and put on tefillin". When my son asks me why I dance when
I build the succah, I reply "I'm happy because Hashem is coming down".
When my son hears this, he says, "I also want to help".
I love to do things (mitzvos).
"The difference between eternal destruction and
eternal happiness is, "You HAVE to do things," or "You LOVE to do
things." Hashem doesn't need your favors, you should LOVE to do things,
not HAVE to do things."
When the unfortunate father heard this, he started to
cry.
Imagine handing your wife an expensive present for her
birthday or anniversary, saying "I didn't want to buy this for you, but I
have to". Would such a present have any meaning?!
If however you tell her, "I'd love to buy you an
expensive present, but this is all I can afford" even a small present will
mean a lot to your wife.
The same thing is with Hashem. When he sees you coming to
class saying do I have to learn and daven, then he doesn't accept it. You
have to learn to love to do things not have to do things.
What kind of parents will our children see?! Even if we
don't have children yet, we must start working on it now
.!!!
May Hashem help us be from those who love to serve Him.
What do YOU think ?
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